Making $$$$

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Would you like to make $$$$ with your word processor? Word processors would be like MS Word, Apple Pages, Google Docs, etc. Are you ready? Scroll down to see the steps...

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1. Switch on your word processor.
2. Left mouse click the writing space of your monitor. 
3. Hold the Shift key, and press the 4 key four times.

Got it? Now you have the recipe to make as much $$$$ as you like. :-) 



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DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

A Classic Clever Quiz

Image courtesy of Master isolated images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What is more powerful than God?
What is more evil than the devil? 
The rich want it,
The poor have it,
And if you eat it, you will die.

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Give up? Scroll further down... 

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The answer is: Nothing. 
Nothing is more powerful than God. 
Nothing is more evil than the devil. 
The rich want Nothing. 
The poor have Nothing. 
And if you eat Nothing, you will die.

(Clever, huh?)

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Soft-drinks in the provinces...

Image courtesy of Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Coca-cola is a popular drink in the province. 

It is so common that it is used as a generic term to refer to a bubbly soft-drink. If one would buy a Sprite from the store, one would say "Pabili ng Kok na Sprite." (I would like to buy Coke that is Sprite.) Or to buy Royal Tru Orange, one would say "Pabili ng Kok na Orange." (I would like to buy Coke that is Orange.) 

As for Pepsi Cola in the province, did you know that Pepsi is sold in five (5) liters? 

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Liter P, liter E, liter P, liter S, liter I.
Did you count that? Five (5) liters, right?

(Didn't you mean "letters"?) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Young Nostradamus...

Image courtesy of tuelekza / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Imagine a scene where the Young Nostradamus is at the dining table with his Mom...

Nostradamus' Mom: "Nostradamus, finish eating your food." 

Nostradamus: "I knew you're gonna say that."

NM: "There you go again."

N: "I knew you're gonna say that."

NM: "Stop it." 

N: "That too."

(Looks like he has the makings of the man who saw tomorrow.) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Airline Funnies...

Image courtesy of satit_srihin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When a 747 plane is about to crash to the ocean, this is what you might hear:

1)LUFTHANSA AIRLINES: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. To those who are capable of swimming, kindly proceed at wing A. And to those who cannot swim, kindly proceed at wing B. To those at wing A, please queue to the emergency door, and there will be a slide provided and you may swim away for safety. And for those at wing B, thank you for flying Lufthansa Airlines."

2)PHILIPPINE AIRLINES: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Our Father in Heaven..."

(Looks like they both don't have life jackets... so much for handling the situation on a wing and a prayer.) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Piglet and the Doctor...

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Imagine Piglet (Winnie the Pooh's buddy) is consulting a respectable medical doctor. And the doctor said, "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to
hear first?" Piglet said, "Um th-th-th-the b-b-b-bad news, Doc." The doctor said, "The bad news is your stuttering condition is genetic..."


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"But the good news is, through DNA testing, we discovered who your biological father is." 

And the doctor handed a photo to Piglet. It was a photo of... Porky Pig (from Looney Tunes).

("Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!") ;-)

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Mother and Daughter...

Image courtesy of inus12345 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dear Mom,

$chool is really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can just $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,

$u$an

P.$. Thank$ for $ending the $weater.

***** 

Dear Susan, 

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. 

Love, 

Mom 

P.S. Thanks for your NOte!! 

URL: http://mnxian.tumblr.com/post/373024855 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")