Elephant and a Kangaroo

Image courtesy of anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

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A: Potholes all over Australia. (Blug! Blug! Blug!) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
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“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

The Snail and the Birthday Girl

Image courtesy of Jonathan Fitch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It was Dee's birthday. Her doorbell rang. She approached the door and opened it. She looked and saw no one until she saw a snail on her doormat. The snail greeted, "Happy Birthday, Dee!" Dee felt strange. She thought she was losing her mind upon hearing a snail speak to her. Thinking she must be getting crazy, she kicked the snail...

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One year later, the doorbell rang. She opened the door and saw the snail that asked, "What did you do that for?"

(Amazing, it took one year for the snail to get back to the same spot. Nice try.) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
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“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

Ming, Mitsu, and Manding...

Image courtesy of arkorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There was a grand competition in town. It was a very popular event that packed the stadium with thousands of spectators. Every seat ticket was sold out. It was a competition of the man with the most offsprings. 

First contestant was Ming and his children. Ming has fifty (50) children. The crowd applauded. 

The second contestant was Mitsu and his children. Mitsu has one hundred (100) children. The crowd applauded. 

The third contestant was Manding. He stepped forward alone...

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The crowd was silent. Then, all of them chanted, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy..." 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
-------------------------------------------------------
“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

Mark, Maurice, Ming, and Mitsu...

Image courtesy of digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mark, Maurice, Ming, and Mitsu went to a bar. They were served beer with flies. Mark too a big gulp and spat it all out. Maurice picked out the flies and drank the beer. Ming drained out the beer and ate the flies. 

Guess what Mitsu did...

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He picked out the flies, sold the beer to Maurice, and sold the flies to Ming.

(Eeew!!! Thanks for the joke, bro!) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
-------------------------------------------------------
“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

A Smile on Canada...

Image courtesy of rakratchada torsap / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After I read and visited Canada, I noticed unusual things. I noticed it is a habit to say "Eh?" to ask to repeat something just like "Huh?" I noticed how nicknames are formed with male names. Doug would be Dougie, Mick would be Mickie, or Buck would be Buckie. I also noticed that the Royal Canadian Mountain Police are known as Mountees...

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I wonder if the pregnant ones are called Buntees.

(Buntees=buntis. Hehehe...) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
-------------------------------------------------------
“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

A Laundry Service Shop in Chinatown...

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was out in chinatown one day. A sign caught my eye. It reads: 

"Hans Olafsen's Laundromat" 

That's a first, a Scandinavian name used in a laundromat service in chinatown. So I decided to visit this laundry service shop. Upon entering, I saw an oriental fellow at the reception desk. I approached him and said, 

"Excuse me, sir. How did this laundry service get it's name?" 

He answered, "Shop named after owner." 

I asked, "Where is Mr. Hans Olafsen?" 

He said, "I'm he. How I help you?" 

So I asked him, "If you don't mind me asking, how did your name become 'Hans Olafsen'?" 

He replied, "Happened when I queued for registration at immigrations office. White man before me asked by immigrations officer, 'Name?' white man said, 'Hans Olafsen.' ...

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...After processing, he left queue. I next in line and was asked, 'Name?' I said, 'Sem Ting Tu.'"

(And that immigrations officer heard it as "same thing too." Ho boy...) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
-------------------------------------------------------
“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz

The Oooi-oooi Bird...

Have you ever heard
'bout the Oooi-oooi bird?
(Sketch it? Looks absurd.)

That really sounds so lame!
From the odd hall of fame,
How did it get its name?

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This bird got its name from its male species. The male Oooi-oooi bird has testicles sooo big, that when he lands, he says, "Oooi! Oooi!"

Ouch! 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
-------------------------------------------------------
“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”
--Charles M. Schulz