The $5,000.00 loan...

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

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The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=13 

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
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“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”

--Charles M. Schulz

Lotto joke

Image courtesy of graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Larry wins the lottery and dashes to town to claim his prize. "Give me my $20 million," he tells the man in charge.

"Sorry, but it doesn't work that way," the man says. "You'll get a million today, and then the rest will be spread out over the next 19 years."

Larry is furious. "Look, I want my money..."

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"...and if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

Reader's Digest [Aust. ed.]; May 2009

(Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, isn't $1,000,000.00 on the spot and for the next 19 years-- to total $20,000,000.00-- a whole lot bigger than a dollar refund? The one in charge would loooooooooove to collect Larry's $19,999,999.00 after refunding Larry's $1.00. Silly old Larry!) 

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
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"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference... and the sense of humor when I don't know the difference."

--Joel Goodman adding to Reinhold Niebuhr

Headlines...

Image courtesy of vectorolie / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hold the presses!

Four of these headlines come from real news stories...
(Editor: ...while I add to the fun. ;-)

* "Couple recalls war years, 63 years of marriage"
(Editor: War years within 63 years of marriage? What motivated them to survive mutual abuse? ;-)

* "Gun who killed officer said to have had mental problems"
(Editor: Now guns need professional help... ;-)

* "Smokers asked to keep butts off beach"
(Editor: Did they mean cigarette ends or rear ends? ;-)

* "Volunteers needed to help abuse victims"
(Editor: It seems they can no longer afford paid workers to beat up victims... ;-)


Source: Reader's Digest [Aust. ed.]; May 2009 
Editor: (me ;-)

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL 
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"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference... and the sense of humor when I don't know the difference."

--Joel Goodman adding to Reinhold Niebuhr