Airline Funnies...

Image courtesy of satit_srihin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When a 747 plane is about to crash to the ocean, this is what you might hear:

1)LUFTHANSA AIRLINES: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. To those who are capable of swimming, kindly proceed at wing A. And to those who cannot swim, kindly proceed at wing B. To those at wing A, please queue to the emergency door, and there will be a slide provided and you may swim away for safety. And for those at wing B, thank you for flying Lufthansa Airlines."

2)PHILIPPINE AIRLINES: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Our Father in Heaven..."

(Looks like they both don't have life jackets... so much for handling the situation on a wing and a prayer.) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
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"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")

Piglet and the Doctor...

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Imagine Piglet (Winnie the Pooh's buddy) is consulting a respectable medical doctor. And the doctor said, "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to
hear first?" Piglet said, "Um th-th-th-the b-b-b-bad news, Doc." The doctor said, "The bad news is your stuttering condition is genetic..."


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"But the good news is, through DNA testing, we discovered who your biological father is." 

And the doctor handed a photo to Piglet. It was a photo of... Porky Pig (from Looney Tunes).

("Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!") ;-)

:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
-------------------------------------------------------
"Take a tip from nature-- your ears are not made to shut, but your mouth is!" --John Mason (from the book "Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight: How to Succeed No Matter What")