A funny thing happened at church...

Embossed art by Dominique Liongson

(Based on a true story from a magazine. :-)

It happened when everyone was on queue for Holy Communion at church. Before the lady's mouth received the host-bread from the priest, her mobile phone ring-tone disrupted the communion ritual. Out of embarrassment, she apologized and got her cellphone to turn it off. Without skipping a beat, the priest said...

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

"Tell him that we do not serve take-out."

(Dine in only? hee-hee...) 



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
-------------------------------------------------------
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference... and the sense of humor when I don't know the difference."
--Joel Goodman adding to Reinhold Niebuhr

Tagalog Funnies

Q: Ano ang "depressed" sa Tagalog?
A: Ang pari (de prest). 

-------

Q: Ano ang "shampoo"?
A: Ang bilang pagkatapos ng siyam (...pito, walo, siyam, shampoo). 

-------


Q: Ano ang "devastation"?
A: Ang himpilan ng bus (de bus station).


-------


Q: Ano ang "protestant"?
A: Ang pamilihan ng prutas (prut estand).


-------


Q: Ano ang "deduct"?
A: Ang bibe (de duck).

Pun-tastic!



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
-------------------------------------------------------
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference... and the sense of humor when I don't know the difference."
--Joel Goodman adding to Reinhold Niebuhr

The Dog Looking for a Job

illustrated by Dominique Liongson

There was a dog passing by and found a sign that read...

"Help Wanted: Must type, Must be computer literate, and Must be bilingual. Equal opportunity employer inside."

The dog took the sign and brought it to the manager.

The manager said, "Look, I can't hire you. You're a dog." The dog pointed at the sign that said: 'Equal opportunity employer inside.' "Fair enough," said the manager, "can you type?" The dog approached the typewriter, typed, and produced a flawless letter. The manager asked, "Can you run a computer?" Upon operating the computer, the dog created a program and it ran perfectly.

"I admire your skills. But I can't hire you. You're a dog. The other qualification states you must be bilingual. That's what's said on the help wanted sign, see?" said the manager pointing at the sign.

You know what the dog said? 
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

"Meow." 

(Bilingual = can speak Dog and Cat. hee-hee...)



:-( -> :-| -> :-)
DL
-------------------------------------------------------
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference... and the sense of humor when I don't know the difference."
--Joel Goodman adding to Reinhold Niebuhr